Doesn’t exist? Yeah right

August 16, 2011 at 2:11 pm 3 comments

By Mohamed Mohamed

Domestic violence exists in all quarters of our society. This is not to say domestic violence is a Muslim problem. In England domestic violence takes place every 2 minutes. Unfortunately men are also victims, the majority are women. To those of us who know Islam and the Quran, violence against women is against the teachings of Islam that we look at those who use our religion against us as misguided, misinformed or malicious.

Many sisters who come together and talk about their problems they are facing, often find they are not able to articulate themselves properly because the person listening doesn’t have enough experience to offer legal or emotional guidance or she is too shy to talk about it because she hasn’t built enough bridge of trust to talk about such personal issues.

Under no circumstances is violence against women encouraged or allowed in Islam. The holy Qur’an contains tens of verses extolling good treatment of women. The verse couldn’t be clearer that the relationship between men and women is to be one of kindness, mutual respect, and caring. Added to these verses is the inescapable fact that the Prophet vehemently disapproved of men hitting their wives, and that he never in his entire life hit any woman or child.

In his last sermon, Prophet Muhammad told us “O people, to be kind to women as you have rights over your wives, and they have rights over you.” He also said, “Treat your women well, and be kind to them, for they are your partners and committed helpers“. In a saying of the Prophet, he said, “The strong man is not the one who can use the force of physical strength, but the one who controls his anger” (Bukhari).

When I read stories in the newspapers about women being subject of domestic violence that even leads to them being mentally affected and scarred for life needing psychiatric help, it leaves a sour taste in the mouth and makes me think what the motive was? Was it greed, was it for power, was it pressure, and was it misunderstanding? Or could it be the fact that men feel a sense of insecurity and want to feel powerful so they subject women to mental and physical abuse. Or could it simply be he had a disagreement with his wife?

In any case we should have a zero tolerance approach against domestic violence whether it is against men, women or children.

All families should maintain open lines of communication between all of their members; by having regular family meetings where everyone is allowed to talk and convey themselves without any recriminations.

Marriage must be seen as a partnership, and marriage contracts should identify a vow to an abuse free and violence-free family. Extended families must bring to an end covering up mistreatment, abuse and violence in the name of “preserving the family honour”. Beyond all, the family, like the individual must keep Allah as its focal point.

This Ramadan, Zakat House is helping Nour DV fund-raise to raise awareness and stop domestic violence. You can donate to their project here.

Entry filed under: Donating, Islam, Nour DV, Our Community, Ramadan, Support. Tags: , , , , , .

The police and the community- partners in good time I am new to this, can you help me?

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Sumaira  |  August 16, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    How do u learn to forgive the person that put u thru so much heartache??? Especially when it involves children n what they went through. Ive gt over wat i went through; but when i think abt it i get angry. I cant seem to forgive him for what hes done to us!!! What would you advise?? Alhamdulilah i pray 5 tyms and try my best to do all the things i can to build my imaan stronger this 1 thing will not let me move on with my life and think abt commiting agen. I want to settle dwn n be a “normal” family a husband, wife n kids!!!
    Jazakallah khair fr ur tym

    Reply
  • 2. Nour  |  August 17, 2011 at 12:47 am

    Wassalam ukhti

    I can imagine your mental and physical pain… What you went through only you and Allah alone know.
    Don’t lose hope my sister there is always light at the end of the dark tunnel.In regards to forgiving.. we s
    must remember that if Allah is all forgiving then how can we not forgive?

    My respected teacher once told me that… imagine Rizwana on the day of Qiyamat when Allah
    subhanahu wata ala asks you “Oh believer what did you do for me in the world?” and you say
    “Oh my Allah, i forgave man for your sake” Allah will be so thrilled he will say “Oh believer! you
    forgave man for my sake! If you can forgive the i am All Forgiving… Go my servant go! i forgive you
    for everything! enter jannah with peace and no questioning!” Subhanallah!

    sister whenever i come across any hardship i always remember this story and say oh Allah i forgive
    for your sake. Sister i can imagine you can forgive but it is hard to forget, but why are you suffering?
    Be strong for yourself and show everyone that you can do it! you can stand up on your two feet and
    be a happy person. Remember Allah only tests the ones he loves and for sure you are the beloved of
    Allah.

    Do not despair… carry on making dua to Allah, and he will show you a way. If you embed this in your
    mind it will be easier to move on. Find a suitable match as soon as you can and marry with an open
    mind Allah will make it easy for you inshallah. Remember not all men are the same.

    I pray that Allah give you strength to carry on and the ability to remember him always. Allah give you the
    best of partners who will love and cherish you and will give you the respect you deserve inshallah ameen.

    If you have any other questions please do not hesitate to ask.

    Sister Rizwana.
    Nour – Domestic violence.

    Reply
  • 3. sumaira  |  August 17, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    jazakallah khair sister….for ur email and ur support it will take time but i know i will inshallah forgive. ive been reflectng a lot during ramadhan and the problems i had are gone nw i shud concentrate on that and build a new future with my children.
    Allah swt tests those he loves….

    Reply

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